Deep Thoughts with Benjamin

This past week, I watched a show on Showtime called "The Big C", which is about a woman who has terminal cancer and how she is dealing with it.  It's actually a comedy and quite funny and often thought-provoking.  In the last episode, she had taken some Ecstacy and had come to the realization she didn't need to be afraid (of anything) anymore.  She went on to say she wondered where we went when we died and had a conversation with another character on the show about his beliefs. 

This conversation reminded me of one I had with Benjamin when he was around 6 years old.  I have always thought he was an "old soul".  From the day he was born, he seemed to just "know" more about the world and beyond.  On this particular day, he and I were out by the pool in our backyard and he looked at me and said, "I wish I could die, Mom."  He said it "matter-of-factly" and it really freaked me out, but I kept my cool and said, "Well, I sure don't.  Why do you wish you could die?"  He replied, "Then I could go back up there and be born again and stay little."  Me: "So you think that when you die, you go back up there and get born again?"  B: "Yes, that's right."  I never did get him to explain why he thought that or if he had heard it somewhere - he didn't have an answer to that question.