Thursday, June 7, 2012
On April 26th, around 12:30pm Central Time, I had my last cigarette. Oooohhhh, I miss it. I miss the rush, the release, the relief, the "high". I know that if I took a drag, it would taste SO gross and I wouldn't even take a second puff. THAT is a big reason I don't take that first drag. Of course, all the health reasons are important, but anyone who has smoked knows what I mean. We all know smoking is bad for us, yet we still do (did) it.
I did not quit without help. The day I quit, I began chewing nicotine gum. I was chewing about 4 pieces a day, usually at work. The funny thing I found is that I didn't really miss smoking when I was in the car. I thought that would be the hardest habit to break, but it's really not even an issue. I miss having a cigarette when I am at work. But I have found that if I need a break, I can go downstairs with the smokers and it really doesn't make me want one - strangely, it doesn't affect me. I can stand there, watch them smoke, and not crave it. I know I am lucky!
I've noticed a change in my stress level as well. I still have the same amount of stress, but when things get tough or I have to deal with the EX, I don't just get all worked up and need a smoke. I get mildly pissed and move on. I don't have the smoking crutch to use and somehow, my attitude has gotten better.
I think I was really ready this time. I had noticed some issues with my health and I know that as I get older, these issues won't get better like good wine or cheese; smoking will only make health issues worse.
On June 4th, I accidentally didn't have a piece of nicotine gum. I guess I was just too busy or not stressed enough to chew a piece. It was late afternoon when I realized this and thought, "Hey, let's try to go all day without a piece." Now, I had done this before on the weekends - I would not have any nicotine gum on the weekends, then once I got to work, I felt I needed some "help". So I actually went all day on the 4th without a piece of nicotine gum. June 5th, I decided to see if I could do it again. Around 4pm, I felt the urge, so I asked a co-worker for a piece of regular gum. Not the same, but it took my mind off my craving. June 6th I bought my own packs of gum and did really well until late afternoon. I chewed 3 pieces of regular gum between 4pm and 6pm, but I did it! Here I am on day 4 of being nicotine-free. I know I can do this. It's good for me and I know I'm saving money every week I don't smoke. Just don't ask me to give up coffee or wine.